Who would claim to be, that they are not - by Dave Clifford
There is some magical and inspiring by watching a master at work , the skill that they bring to their craft and how they make everything seem so effortless. However, it is also a little disheartening a realising that you have come so far and yet the journey is only just beginning.
Having read Lyssa’s book, I was really excited that I was attending the workshop. Excited to meet with my fellow tribe member from “Vicland” and to experience a day of learning together. The week prior to the workshop, the team and Lyssa were using Marco Polo to shape the structure and content of the day. It was exciting to see a notification pop up and knowing that a team member had shared their thoughts. However, I was the last to post. The reason, I didn’t feel like part of this team, to me they might as well been strangers posting on YouTube. The majority had a common bond and worked on sites together , worked for the same company in the past. It felt like I was intruding on some secret party that I wasn’t invited to. The team had breakfast together before the workshop, and I didn’t feel comfortable there was jokes and shared stories so I put on my mask and hid in plain sight.
Personally, I have always felt like an outsider, walking to a different beat of the drum and never really feeling like I belong anywhere. That feeling was probably compounded during the workshop with Lyssa and the rest of the business Agility capability , when I looked around a room full of wonderful talented people and in the back of my mind is a voice saying you don’t belong here, you are just a project manager and they know it!! While others call themselves Agile coaches with ease , there is always that sense of foreboding when I hear someone call me that, because I am not one. However, it is what drives me forward , it is my passion to be one.
The morning sessions were excellent , full of insights and learning. There was a feeling of comfort , I was at ease, no risk of exposure just play the game and throw in a few observations. But, that was not why I was here and not my purpose. I volunteered to have a 1-1 session with Lyssa because I felt I needed to shared my thoughts. Talk to why I didn’t feel like we were not a team, talk to the growing frustrations of others. However I didn’t get the chance, the day quickly changed direction after the morning sessions. Others were feeling the same as me. There were some conversation to be had , and as a team we seemed to be tip toeing around the elephants in the room in the morning. Frustration had built up to an unacceptable level for some, and you could feel the atmosphere in the room changing from the early excitement to some more profoundly different. It was time to get real in and this is when I began to feel the team bonding and i felt a sense of belonging. Fierce conversations starting to occur. Lyssa keeping the sponsor in check , so that the team could move forward. There is still away to go but we all took the first step.
Closing the day, I slowly became aware of my role in the capability though I didn’t say it then. Is it better to have a group of superstars that play for themselves , or a team of players that work together? It’s the latter for me…and while I am not the smartest, the best at this or that.. I am a team player who supports others to be their best.
What am I thankful for .. well I am thankful for Alan for inviting me into his home and his hospitality. I am thankful for being part of a wonderful team. Actually, change that.. for feeling that I belong to a wonderful team and we all are on a common journey .. To be better!!
I am complete.